Where is the fairy tale? I never believed when my parents were saying: “enjoy your childhood while you can, cuz later, you will face the problems and you will want to be a child again, without worries”. Why did I not listen? Nooo, I want to grow up faster, to be an adult, to do whatever I want. Really??? Why the hell did I fight for such a silly thing?! To be a big girl in a big world. Here I am. A big girl in a different country, doing a degree that I don’t really like and with no job. Yeppy, life’s good.
Fuck that. When I was little, I used to bother my parents all the time with my stories. ‘When I’m going to be older, I’m going to change the world. I’m going to live in a castle and have the perfect car, with the perfect job, and the perfect life; yes, wait and see….’. Time flies…I feel older but I’m not living the dream yet, what can I say. I mean, let’s not be hasty here. I live in a beautiful apartment. Just by the quays. I love it, it’s not the castle (note: by castle, I mean a city centre apartment, in a modern block, at the top floor, with lots of massive windows and super fancy, just to clarify) but makes me happy. The car?! Well, that will come sooner or later. Job? Hahaha, makes me laugh. No job. Searching, applying, being tired and sick of the whole think. So…still need to work a bit. Need to build the perfect life. Probably is just me here. No seriously, I’ve always been in a rush. I’m 20 for Christ sake and I want what people get in 5-10 years from now. That makes me either too ambitious or too silly. I’m a believer.
But never mind, I’m sure I can figure it out myself, like I always do. I don’t need help, I’ll manage it. At the end of the day, I feel like I want to scream though. I truly believe in myself, and I’m motivated but it comes a time when all you need is to forget about the problems in your life. You need to go with the flow and enjoy.
So here it is:

Dear parents,

I was serious 5 years ago when I said that I’m going to have the perfect life. I grew up and I realize that I was a fool for not taking advantage of my childhood. I realize that with love and happiness you can achieve everything you want. Silly me for rushing everything. Good for me for being brave enough to want more than the usual, and awesome me for living the country just to search for what I always wanted. The good news is that I feel like I’m not too far away from what I want. I’m still brave and I still have the will to do everything it takes. The bad news is that i feel a bit lost at the moment. Don’t worry, it’s a temporary thing.
I have what I wanted to a certain extend. I know it’s all about wanting more and going for it. this is what I’m doing. Please be patient as I’m trying to be. (You know me, I’ve never been patient, I want everything now!!!!).

Thank you.

Cory

And now what? oh i know, back to the reality, opening lots of tabs with new jobs, applying all over, while studying for my exams. Super woman, lucky me. But hey, that a good thing: I’ve just discovered a new skill that will go on my CV, multitasking that is.