And I’ve realized that i’m in a routine. Waking up, going to uni, going to work, day dreaming, eating, drinking tea, smoking and going to bed. Boring me. And for the first time, maybe, I might be honest with you all. I miss home. I miss that shit country, where everything (or almost everything) is possible. I miss taking the car and going to the mountains for a couple of hours just to smoke a fag in the middle of the woods, or drinking a cup of coffee in front of my favourite: the bran castle. I’m hiding my feeling all day every day, for the sake of my mom, not to make her upset, for the sake of everybody, and nevertheless, for my own sanity cuz I already feel like I’m going crazy.

I’m seriously thinking to buy myself a pet. I’m keeping myself busy with all sorts of activities and I swear I don’t think I like them anymore. Going up and down, I live in my own world, full of thoughts. I’ve never met a person so weird and complicated as I am, to think all the bloody time, all day long. I can’t rest, I can never relax and have a blank space like a normal human being. No…I need to think, to remind myself that I’m not in the best position. Mind me, my depressing post might be because of the lovely British weather. It’s raining, indeed, you got it right.

Slagging everything and everybody off, I feel like I’m creating a shield, and I hope that after a year and a half it’s a damn good one.

So I miss my friends, there you go, I finally said it. I miss my room. I wanna stay up until 4 in the morning in front of my desk, in front of my laptop, with a cup of coffee right next to me, surrounded by masks and books. I wanna go out at 11, to spend my whole night in a club, dancing like a crazy one. I wanna go to other cities again, and let someone else drive while I’m enjoying a beer on the highway. I wanna forget how it’s like to sleep for 7 hours a night, because I’m too busy going out, catching up with my friends. I want my mom to come in my room at 7 in the morning to ask me if I’m drunk and to tell me off over and over again, cuz I never spend my nights sleeping…then I want her to call me during the day and to tell me off again cuz I slept until 3 in the afternoon and that my breakfast went cold. Do you know how often it happens to wake up and be confused? Why am I in this flat? What???What’s going on? Oh, wait, I’m a student, doing law with criminology, I live in Manchester, I left home when I was only 18. I work here, and I’m fed up with it sometimes, I know people and now my friends live in the same city. So why did I have that strange feeling that i don’t really belong here? I don’t know…maybe just a bad dream, yeah that was it, a bad dream…so let’s start the day shall we?